Super Tuesday moet nog komen, maar de verkiezingsmoeheid neemt al toe. Wie iets te veel naar CNN of MSNBC kijkt (zoals ik) kan de oneliners van Clinton, Obama, Edwards, Giuliani en McCain inmiddels dromen.

Vooral John Edwards lijkt soms wel een machine. Werkelijk fenomenaal (en buitengewoon irritant) hoe vaak hij gisteravond, na South Carolina, wist te melden dat hij ‘the voice of the voiceless’ is. Niet alleen in zijn campagnetoespraak, ook in interviews achteraf. ‘Our campaign from the very beginning has been about one central thing and that is to give voice to millions of Americans who have absolutely no voice in this democracy, to give voice — to give voice to people like…’ Vul verder maar in.

Verder is Hillary Clinton natuurlijk ‘ready from day one’, heeft McCain het steeds weer over ‘my friends’, weet Giuliani toch altijd weer zijn heldhaftige rol op 9-11 voor het voetlicht te krijgen en bij Huckabee komt steevast God of Jezus om de hoek kijken.

New York stemt pas op 5 februari, Super Tuesday, en houdt zich vooralsnog dus met hele andere zaken bezig. De pas ontdekte vergiftiging van de sushi bijvoorbeeld. Uit onderzoek van The New York Times bleek dat vrijwel alle sushi tonijn bij de allerbeste Japanners op Manhattan veel te veel kwik bevat. In een column uit de krant van vrijdag wist Clyde Haberman de presidentscampagnes geinig te combineren met de veel belangrijkere sushiproblematiek.

Een fragment:

“Unlike other candidates, I have been saying since 2002 that we were headed down a disastrous road with our sushi policy,” Senator Barack Obama said. “But what we need now is a president who will not use this crisis just to scare up votes.”

“We need a president who can get past the tired, old partisan divisions that pit one kind of fish against another,” Mr. Obama said. “It’s fine to get the mercury out of tuna. But all fish are in this together. We can’t rest until we have safe sushi of all types, all across this great land. To those who say we aim too high, we say, ‘Yes, we can.’ ”

Former Senator John Edwards said that the sushi menace underlined the widening gulf between rich and poor. “We have to stand up for the millions of impoverished Americans who go to bed every night unable even to dream about tuna sushi,” he said. “This is the other America, not the fat cats plunking down $400 at places like Masa in New York.”

“We need to speak up for the little guy,” Mr. Edwards said, “the guy who gets mercury poisoning and then sits for hours in a hospital emergency room because he can’t afford health insurance.”

Just before saying he would drop out of the race, Representative Dennis Kucinich said that, as a vegan, he believed Americans should throw away the slice of fish (“tuna, salmon or yellowtail — they’re all the same”) and eat just the rice ball with a dash of wasabi.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton warned against “false hopes” that the sushi menace would soon be over. She declined to pledge that, if elected, she would have all mercury out of tuna within four years. “But I can promise,” Mrs. Clinton said, “that on Day One, I will be ready for action.

“Experience counts, and I’ve been eating sushi almost since that transforming day when I heard Martin Luther King speak in person.”

YET former President Bill Clinton sought to tamp down talk of a crisis. “Don’t believe these fairy tales,” Mr. Clinton said. “But don’t roll the dice, either. The mercury isn’t a problem if ingested in small doses. Hillary and I are urging all you good people who love tuna maki to cut it into little pieces. Dice the roll.”

On the Republican side, Senator John McCain repeated a line from just before the New Hampshire primary. “I’m too old to be scared,” he said. “My friends, we’ve been through hard times before, but we can overcome this transcendent challenge. I don’t have to tell you, my friends, about my years in Asia. I have the experience, my friends, to handle this sushi ordeal.”

Former Gov. Mitt Romney blamed imported tuna. “It’s all that immigrant fish,” he said. “We’re not controlling our borders. I promise you that on my watch we will not be a sanctuary for dangerous foreign tuna.”

Former Gov. Mike Huckabee urged Americans to avoid raw fish of any type, regardless of national origin. “Nowhere does the Bible mention sushi in the Garden of Eden,” he said. “Give me that old-time cuisine. If it was good enough for Adam and Eve, it’s good enough for me.”

Representative Ron Paul said that New York had brought the mercury attack on itself by having “invaded foreign waters” in search of ever more tuna for insatiable diners. That brought a sharp rebuke from former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani of New York. “I’ve heard some pretty absurd explanations for the attack, but not that one,” Mr. Giuliani said.

Still, “this is a very, very serious problem,” he said, “and I don’t want to minimize how very, very important it is.

“But trust me, Sept. 11 was a lot worse.”